A friend invited me to a free “healing session” with a woman she had a private session with the day before. She warned me that this healer talked a lot and was not someone with whom she connected personally, but the transmission was powerful and she felt strongly I would benefit from it.

Indeed, the healer went on and on about herself, sang us a long and boring song (which she said was the “short version”) and finally got down to the energy shifting part of the evening. I was physically uncomfortable lying on the floor (not knowing we were supposed to bring a mat and blanket), but I tried to remain present and open to whatever I might receive.

After two long hours, my friend and I went out for a drink and she asked, “What did you feel?” “Nothing really,” I replied. Then, as if from nowhere, I added, “I don’t have to do anything to receive all I need and want.” That was not just some intellectual statement but a deep soul-level knowing I had not had before! The words, and the truth of them, surprised me.

Lately, I’ve been acutely aware of my giving and doing with the unconscious agenda of getting something in return. Whether actual goods or money or simple appreciation, recent circumstances have shown me that my “good works” do not necessarily yield the response I was hoping for. Sadness and anger have often accompanied the disappointment I’ve felt at lack of appreciation.

I’ve had to accept the Law that “people are not always loyal and loving.” (David Ricco, “The Five Givens”). Fact is, I am not always loyal and loving. We are humans, and this is the way we are.

While “grief work,” on a psychological level,  had allowed me to mourn this fact, it did not shift my desire to have it be different, or to know and accept this truth with peace and understanding. Whatever the unseen and unverifiable energy work did, it changed my awareness entirely.

As my friend and I gossiped about this woman – her chatter, and even her promotional flyer that was dense with words – we analyzed her lack of financial success, concluding it was because she tried too hard. I suggested a number of ways I could help her. After about 10 minutes, my friend asked suddenly, “Why are we in her business?”

We began laughing at our judgment of her. “It’s so easy to do!” I replied.  We concluded that if she asked, of course we’d help her, but she hadn’t asked, and here we were plotting how to be helpful.

Simply put, there is My business, Your business and Spirit’s business. If I am in your business, I’m not in mine or Spirit’s. I am not where I need to be. In my doing – to help, support or otherwise fix you,  without your asking – I set myself up for disappointment and the resultant grief and anger. I can avoid this by staying in my business and doing nothing…unless asked. And even then, checking with my inner wisdom to see if this is right action for me.