Category Relationships

Why Dreams Don’t Soar

by C. Hope Clark (by kind permission of the author)

No matter how discouraged, your dreams are, after all, yours to inhabit!

What we often attribute to fate and the hand of others is more the fault of grounded dreams – dreams we weighed down ourselves, not allowing the wings to spread and take flight. The change isn’t a sudden slam of a door or quick reversal of speed, but more of a slow easy slide into nothing. And we assume it isn’t our fault. We have to assume some of the responsibility. Whether we admit it or not, we abetted the demise by:

–Letting others dissuade us. It’s amazing how people who haven’t succeeded tend to be the loudest naysayers. While writers are known for having some mighty big hearts, those who don’t understand the craft still tend to believe anyone can pull off a bestseller. We hear far too many negatives, and we start to believe the words.

–Letting past disappointment control us. We’ve failed in other arenas. We’ve had close calls with contracts. We’ve submitted to 72 agents, been rejected 42 times and ignored 32. We’ve divorced, endured physical restrictions, and weathered disease.

–Letting that inner editor tell us that we’ve done fine considering the odds. We’d be better off NOT knowing the odds. That way we don’t settle for less than our best.

–Letting the hard work stop us from tackling another hurdle. We get tired, and our confidence weakens.

–Locking up our imagination. Like dancing in front of people, we fear cutting loose and letting our inner child free. We grip what’s comfortable instead of jumping on the dance floor under the spotlight, where people can easily judge.

Sometimes the odds stack up against us but, face it, our attitude about how we deal with our dreams is completely in our hands. Maintain control. After all, it’s your dream, and no one else’s.

(Editor’s Note: Hope Clark is a writer/editor and true champion of other writers. Her website, http://www.fundsforwriters.com/, is a marvelous resource for both aspiring and seasoned writers).

Giving Thanks – A State of Grace

I could not improve upon the message of Thanksgiving from one of my wonderful teachers, Hal Isen, who sends out a newsletter, “Core Wisdom® – The Way of the Practical Mystic,” from time to time. I highly recommend his life-changing book, The Genesis Principle: A Journey into the Source of Creativity and Leadership. His website is: http://corewisdom.com/

CORE WISDOM: Giving Thanks – A State of Grace

Abundance of the season. Photo by Aysha Griffin

If the only prayer you say in your life is “thank you,” that would suffice. – Meister Eckhart

This Thanksgiving, many of you will be spending the holiday with family and friends that you have known for years. For others, the day may be celebrated with new acquaintances.

For some of you, this Thanksgiving may be marked by the absence of the familiar form of one loved dearly. For others, there will be the presence of a new, unfamiliar expression of Spirit sitting at your table.

What is changeless is that which is the Source of all life. It is always present and accessible to experience within the multiplicity of forms that manifest themselves as “humanity”.

When we are open to receive,  we become present to that which precedes form and is the source of all forms. We find ourselves in a spontaneous state of awe, wonder, and gratitude beyond words for the miracle that is life itself in each and every moment.

To give thanks for life is to move into a state of Grace beyond appearances, beyond preferences, beyond “good” and “bad”, and beyond duality itself. It is a state where one is present to the deep abiding pulse that is at the heart of all life.

I invite you to engage in a simple, powerful inquiry on Thanksgiving day: As you take a walk or climb a flight of stairs, as you embrace the voices and laughter of others around the Thanksgiving table, and when you find yourself just sitting quietly before or after your Thanksgiving dinner, allow a few moments to reflect on what you are thankful for.

Start with something obvious and simple, and the rest will flow. Observe what you experience when you do this inner inquiry wholeheartedly for only a few minutes.

Below are a few examples of some simple yet miraculous gifts you might reflect on with grateful thanks:

The gift of SIGHT… of wonder and curiosity in a child’s face, of the symphony of colors, hues, and tones at sunset, the shimmering of light on water on a moonlit night, the graceful curve of a neck, the purple radiance of flowers on a green hillside, the synchronicity of a flight of birds flying South in the cool of Autumn, the twinkling of a star, a painting by Monet, the light in a lover’s eyes.

The gift of HEARING… music, the whisper of the wind through fall leaves, the crunch of hard packed snow underfoot, voices strange and voices familiar, a baby’s laughter, a child’s first word, an anguished cry of loss, an intimate’s gasp of pleasure, a parent’s last sigh.

The gifts of TOUCH,SMELL and TASTE…the texture, aroma, and taste of the pumpkin pie, the smoothness of an infant’s skin, the warm,
textured grain in a piece of wood, the cold, hard smoothness of metal, the scent and warmth of a loved one’s embrace.

The gift of FEELING…aware of, experiencing, allowing, welcoming, embracing, understanding, and having compassion for the whole range of human emotions.

The gift of MOVEMENT…being aware and in awe of the miracle of our bodies to move, to crawl, to walk, to run, to jump, to dance, and to love in spontaneous response to our intention.

The gift of BREATH… as Spirit breathes through us, in and out.

The gift of family, friends and teachers… of all shapes, forms, and sizes.

The gifts of FORGIVENESS, COMPASSION, and LOVE …that open our hearts to embrace the essence and forms of all that is.

This Thanksgiving, allow yourself to reside in the space of thankfulness and gratitude. Ask yourself, “What am I thankful for?” Be still, and the answer will come. And then another. And another.

I invite you to live from THANKFULNESS and GRATITUDE in all the days that follow. Awaken in the morning to the question, “What am I thankful for?”Go to sleep in that question. Observe how your life begins to transform into being an expression of the space of thankfulness and gratitude.

At this time of Thanksgiving, I thank each of you for the gift you are in my life in whatever form or forms that has taken — as family, partner, friend, adversary, business associate, neighbor, student, client, mentor, guide, guru, acquaintance, or passerby.

You are all my teachers.You have all given me priceless opportunities in this life to question, to experience, to learn, to grow, to relate, to understand, to allow, to transform, to know, to create, to love, and to BE.

Thank you for BEING in my life.

With love, joy, gratitude and appreciation,

Hal (and Aysha!)

© 2010 Hal Isen & Associates, Inc.

Do You Love Your Self?

What Are You Reflecting Back To You?

I was 47, looking in the leather-framed mirror in an elegant bathroom in the house my partner and I had designed and built just the year before.

I’d just gone through my first and only (thank the gods) bout with depression. For several months, on several days a week, I’d wake up trapped in a black hole. I felt I was falling backward into an elevator shaft. I was contentious and upset but could, on the “sane days,” step back and witness the insanity of what I was sowing, the struggle in everything I was doing. I’d wonder, “Who was that bitch who took over my body?” Finally, I got my hormones tested and the doctor said, “You’re out of progesterone.”

Progesterone is called “the feel good hormone.” Without it, you feel bad…really bad.  But restoring a balanced level was a fairly easy trick: 3 months of compounded natural replacements and I was me again…only with much more gratitude. “Oh Aysha, There you are!” I had come back to my senses, to my “normal,” positive and empowered self.

So here I was in this Pueblo-style mansion, in a very tangible dream I was “inhabiting,” and I seeing myself in the mirror. I was so happy to see me! I realized I would never again be younger than I was at that moment. I realized I was all I had to work with in this life…and that woman in the mirror was pretty darn cool.

In this same looking glass I could see the little girl I once was, full of wonder, innocence, anticipation and idealism; the woman I am now, curious in a more specific way, recognizing the value of time and energy; and I could see too the old woman I may someday be, feeling very fulfilled and amused at the twists and turns of the countless stories of this life.

At that moment I knew without a doubt that I loved myself with an abiding appreciation I never had before. How could I do otherwise?

Have you had a similar epiphany? Are you fully appreciating you or still standing in judgment of yourself? Are you fearful or hopeful of the future? We are on this road together. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please feel free to enter a comment below and join the conversation.

How Dishonesty Undermines Healthy Relationships

I know a married man whose relationship philosophy includes, “Just say what people what to hear.” He believes that being honest can be hurtful or embarrass someone (especially himself). He claims “honesty is highly overrated.” This justifies his surreptitious sexual relationships.

Denying the value of honest communication is a wonderful defense against letting anyone in to your heart and soul, a way to remain aloof, invulnerable and inscrutable. It’s also useful for avoiding confrontation.

What is honesty? It’s defined as “free of deceit and untruthfulness.” It’s communicating what you know and are doing, that is relevant to the person with whom you are communicating. READ MORE >>>

Minding My Own Business

Whose Business Are You In?

A friend invited me to a free “healing session” with a woman she had a private session with the day before. She warned me that this healer talked a lot and was not someone with whom she connected personally, but the transmission was powerful and she felt strongly I would benefit from it.

Indeed, the healer went on and on about herself, sang us a long and boring song (which she said was the “short version”) and finally got down to the energy shifting part of the evening. I was physically uncomfortable lying on the floor (not knowing we were supposed to bring a mat and blanket), but I tried to remain present and open to whatever I might receive. Read More >>>

How To Lose That “Last 10 Pounds”

This article is primarily about losing weight, but the metaphor of the “last 10 pounds” applies also to any dream you’ve been putting off, delaying, waiting to happen. Please read on…

In my case it was 15 pounds. In yours it could be 5 or 50. It doesn’t matter. What matters is having the courage to face facts and take action. Don’t turn off yet! It is really possible to do this! Nearly three years ago, at age 52, I got disgusted with the fact that every year on my “New Years Resolution” list, for as long as I could remember, I wrote: lose 10 pounds.

While I had been able to accomplish (or dismiss) many other goals, this one remained persistently unsatisfied, and it plagued me every day of my life.I was reminded of my failure each time I got dressed and stood in front of the mirror wondering, “Do I look fat in this?” Of course I looked fat! I was fat or, rather, had fat that embarrassed me.  Read More >>>